conditioned

Conditioned. 

Sometimes i feel that i am living in like a fish tank instead of the ocean. The ocean is definitely more beautiful and well its where i would be originally from if i was a fish. It is truly living, nature, out in the wild. Then here i am in a fish tank. Everything is safe. i know i'll be fed, i know the water would be cleaned. I know i'll only be placed with fishes that will get along with me. 

Or like a lion in the zoo. Living in a compound, with no where to run. But safe. very safe. Fed, very well indeed. I'll get pampered and spoiled. I'll learn tricks to please people who would come to look at me. But i wouldn't know how to look after myself. To hunt, to live free. 

Sometimes i wonder if we were conditioned to believe that we are truly living like how we are now. To just eat , sleep, work, and go home. To go on tours, live in hotels, to have financial security, to have nice clothes, to have a beautiful comfortable house. To go to the best schools, to work towards being famous and successful. Is that all to life?

Is it wrong to want to live being dependent solely on the Lord. To guide me and to provide for me. Every day of my life. That i need not worry nor strive. That i could truly be free from the ridicules of men? That my parents and grandparents may be wrong? That i could live differently.

David was king and so was solomon. they had all the riches of the world and that is truly fine.

But there is something bugging me Lord. Like a spirit in me telling me Not ever to be afraid of Evil and Evil people because You are with me Loving me, Guiding me and always looking after me. That i do have enough faith, that NO evil may lay its hand upon me. I'll continue to seek God and continue to pray. I do know he would give me a life worth living. a life of adventure :) Both physical and spiritual. and real and truth.