conditioned

Conditioned. 

Sometimes i feel that i am living in like a fish tank instead of the ocean. The ocean is definitely more beautiful and well its where i would be originally from if i was a fish. It is truly living, nature, out in the wild. Then here i am in a fish tank. Everything is safe. i know i'll be fed, i know the water would be cleaned. I know i'll only be placed with fishes that will get along with me. 

Or like a lion in the zoo. Living in a compound, with no where to run. But safe. very safe. Fed, very well indeed. I'll get pampered and spoiled. I'll learn tricks to please people who would come to look at me. But i wouldn't know how to look after myself. To hunt, to live free. 

Sometimes i wonder if we were conditioned to believe that we are truly living like how we are now. To just eat , sleep, work, and go home. To go on tours, live in hotels, to have financial security, to have nice clothes, to have a beautiful comfortable house. To go to the best schools, to work towards being famous and successful. Is that all to life?

Is it wrong to want to live being dependent solely on the Lord. To guide me and to provide for me. Every day of my life. That i need not worry nor strive. That i could truly be free from the ridicules of men? That my parents and grandparents may be wrong? That i could live differently.

David was king and so was solomon. they had all the riches of the world and that is truly fine.

But there is something bugging me Lord. Like a spirit in me telling me Not ever to be afraid of Evil and Evil people because You are with me Loving me, Guiding me and always looking after me. That i do have enough faith, that NO evil may lay its hand upon me. I'll continue to seek God and continue to pray. I do know he would give me a life worth living. a life of adventure :) Both physical and spiritual. and real and truth.

Things i enjoy doing.

Now, i enjoy teaching my kids! Love teaching kids that are keen on learning who are not spoilt or prideful.

Baking, cooking and grilling. In other words creating delicious dishes to share :) and experimenting in the kitchen. It truly is an art.

Planting, gardening and growing. I love planting things, watching them grow and doing my best to keep them healthy and strong!

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Other likes,

i love drawing, art, creating, making, coloring, styling, designing.

i love researching and coming out with a concept and theme and a collection.

Skateboarding, surfing, anything that keep the adrenaline pumping. Extreme sports ;p

Outdoors, trekking, beach, anything with nature :)

I also really like organizing and managing things/ people to be more effective and efficient! I find it fun and productive.

I enjoy learning from God and wise people.

Spending time with God and learning his words and putting them into action :)

Having and spending time with wonderful family and friends who loves God too. and encourage me in my walk with the Lord.

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result :

-Family oriented lifestyle with close friends nearby. Cooking, Gardening, House parties.

-Involved with Kids. Teaching, Sunday school, Volunteering.

-Outdoor activities, Nature.

-A homegrown business, where i can manage things and where i'll be able to come out with a brilliant idea to spend my time, producing something for people either ( growing/cooking/breeding ) i would think having something to do with nature. While putting my design into good use to make all i create look good :) And make a business, that allows me to get an income and to continue to think of innovative ways to keep my business going not afraid of change! ( and a lovely husband who is really supportive  and motivating and full of faith ;p )

-Hopefully being able to get involved in helping the needing as best as i can, an orphanage? helping UN refugee kids? anything really where my heart calls , where God place in my heart.

God loves me.